My name is Natasha.

Heey everyone. My name is Natasha. You can call me Tasha, tish, or whatever. I'm 13 years old, but I've been on many forums, and when I found this one, I was so relieved. I don't know where to start. How about when I was a really little girl, five years old. Hear me out, I was FIVE. I would cry to my mother, calling myself fat, ugly... I was such a cute and tiny little girl too, there truly was nothing wrong with me except the fact I cut my hair on my own and it was choppy. I don't know where it came from, but probably media. FCK media. I grew up always feeling that way, not good enough. Ive always had many friends, and they told me there was nothing wrong with me and I was "skinny". I hear those words to this day and still don't know how to believe them. I was muscular, did boxing, I'm a tough girl not gonna lie, I never let words truly get to my head. I was always independent, strong willed. Shit just crashed this year... I totally exploded. I'm 13 years old... I think the most... tormenting words I can hear from someone are not when they call me names but when beautiful girls bring themselves down. Lithe, slender girls...crying and huffing and puffing saying they're going to diet. I especially hate the way underweight girls with an ED feel they aren't perfect. HELLO MEDIA YOU ARE DOING THIS TO US. we yearn to be complete. That's a life goal. My generation, has their odd ways of fitting in an being complete. We're growing up much to fast, and we're exposed to all this advertising and promotions of rib cages, hip bones, collarbones, cheek bones, fricken skin n' bones everywhere. This is soooooo00000ooo wrong. Kids- yes children- are killing themselves, DYING to be thin. Literally. Shame on what our world is. I suffered from depression and BDD- a disorder where depression comes from , where you absolutely hate your appearance. I still do, and I was a pro-Ana activist. That didn't work, I love food ok. And I'm not ashamed. Hell, I'm VULUPTUOS. (if that's how you spell it) I still can't show my body in a bikini easily but I'm getting there. They say 50% of people in North America know someone with an Eating Disorder. I say that number is higher. I'm fed up with looking at myself in the mirror and seeing disgust. I'm sick of bursting into tears, wishing ever centimeter of my body was beautiful and desired. Whether it's all in my head, whether it's a fattening mirror, or whether it's true, it's not fair. We, women, are beautiful, exotic and damn right sexy. Underweight to over weight. I'm saying, none of this is fair. It's not fair some man in a suit, with money in his pocket, making cash from telling girls to walk a runway, should tell us what beautiful is. Because he's one nasty asshole who shouldn't be here. I hate today's media. The kind where every magazine tells us how to lose pounds, but never how to be happy. I'm sick of it, there must be a change, and if there isn't, I pray for the world.

cmaddie's picture

Hi Tasha, Welcome to Proud2Bme! I get SO frustrated with media messages too, but I think our anger is actually a really positive thing. It's how we can stop internalizing all this ridiculous BS and start talking back. Eating disorders and body image insecurities are so silencing--we have to use our voices to reclaim our power. I believe in positive change because of people like you. Can't wait to read more of your posts! xo
TisaH.'s picture

Hi, Natasha Let's first stop blaming the media, I too feel that my failures in life was because I didn't look like a model, but where my failure come in at was though my own thoughts, I say it like take because I was a beautiful girl I had the look, shape, attitude and the family support and love, but I didn't want to here what they thought I looked outside of my home and there is where I found all the challenges of beauty wars.. as my self esteem started to drop I then became withdrawn, I wanted to look like people on televison now that I'm older unstand that those images where not real, I was as real as I could, get but I damaged my own believe on my own. life is gental except is as your beauty will continue to grow.
brittanyposey's picture

@Natasha, we are glad you found Proud2BMe. We are a community that empowers and encourages one another, and we strive to fight relentlessly against toxic messages and a lack of awareness. Beauty has no single definition, and while media tries to use a megaphone against our perceived small inner voices, we can push back against the impossible standards set by our culture, and begin to redefine beauty as healthy and happy!

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Proud2Bme is an online community created by and for teens. We cover everything from fashion and beauty to news, culture, and entertainment—all with the goal of promoting positive body image and encouraging healthy attitudes about food and weight.

This site was developed in partnership with Riverduinen and made possible by generous contributions from JPMorgan Chase, Globant, the University of Delaware, and The Hilda & Preston Davis Foundation.

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