So, hey there guys.
I honestly have no idea why I got the sudden urge to post here, but I guess I really just need to talk to someone, or let a few things out.
I don't understand anything anymore it feels like.
A year ago, (or well, close enough) around April or May-ish, I skipped a meal for the first time. It was at school. I was an 8th grader. It felt so amazing, the slight hunger in my stomach. So I did it again. And again. I kept at it for 3 days. Nine meals skipped. I remember the feeling. I was in such awful pain, but that pain, it kept me from focusing on the pain I felt inside of me. (things were really, really, bad then. Maybe I'll elaborate more on it some other time)
Then my friend shoved a roll in my mouth at lunch. She made me eat all of it too. Ever since then, I've dealt with eating issues. I've never been full out anorexic/bulimic. I've just had problems with eating, when things get bad. It just depends. When things get bad, I either don't eat at all, or eat too much, then feel bad about it, and feel that I have to skip meals to make up for it. This happens quite often, to be honest. It's awful.
And I don't even know what to do.
I want to eat, but at the same time, I don't.
And I feel so alone. Even with all these bodies around me. It's like NO one understands. Or well, that's how it feels.
Hope I can talk to some of you guys soon.