Love, Dating & Crushes

Are you in a relationship? Do you have a crush? How does it affect the way you feel about yourself? Share and get advice from other members.

Anna Benchimol's picture

I believe being with someone I love has helped me - a lot - through my recovery. It gives me strengh not to give up because I know it affects everyone around me. I was told I take every comment way too personally and that's the reason I martyrize myself about "problems" that aren't exactly a problem and it's amazing to have someone to remind me that, even if he doesn't say anything, it's ok, he doesn't have to..there's something about the way he looks at me when he thinks I'm not paying attention that tells me "I have got to be the most beautiful and amazing person ever, look at the perfect guy starring at me like he's going to drool lol" Of course, it has its negative sides, like everything has. Because the first person to realize youre beautiful has to be you. If you don't trust that how are you supposed to believe when someone tells you so? Sometimes I'm insecure bc I don't trust who I am, and I keep asking myself if I don't believe I'm beautiful, then why does he? We need to trust our beauty (:
gymgirl's picture

I feel stupid asking this, but I'm sick of wondering about the answer. So, there's this guy that for the first time in my life I don't care how I look and I actually smile. He has helped me turn my entire life around, but he doesn't know it, because of him I no longer hide my ed, but have started helping other girls like me. It sounds wierd for me to say this, but I really like him and don't know what to do, we come from different worlds. He probably doesn't know my name, let alone all he has done for me just by being him, he's the whole reason I forced myself to recover, wow I probably sound like a diz. I just don't know what to do, because I'm not used to the whole dating asking people out thing or whatever. So how do I know if he likes me? How do I make small talk or whatever you wana call it? What do I do? How do I not sound like a creep? Should I even try, because I doubt he'd ever date me and if he does I guess I'm afraid he will turn out like all the other guys in my life and then I'm afraid that I'm going to go back down that road and have to start my revovery all over again. It's really hard for me to talk about things like this, so I'm cool if no one responds, its kinda embarrassing....
lksteiner's picture

Hi Gymgirl! Thank you for sharing your story. The fact that you feel so comfortable around this guy is a real plus. It indicates that you have the capacity to develop relationships and open up to others about your ed. Continue to develop the friendship and see where the relationship goes. Take this opportunity to see what you guys have in common and get to know each other better. This will eliminate any pressure you are feeling about dating. Continue working on your recovery and stay strong. Know that there are many professionals out there who can additionally support you through the process of recovery. Remember it is important to love yourself first and feel good about who you are as an individual. Feel free to contact the National Eating Disorders Helpline for additional support at (800)-931-2237 or search the Proud2bme website on more information on recovery. Best of luck to you!
Bernadette Okiria's picture

am in a relationship with this guy and i believe am blessed. i always feel myself around me, he never criticizes me about my appearance but appreciates me instead. at first i thought to myself, that he probably was getting t something through me, but am starting to see through his sincerity. its been close to a year now since we started dating and it feels like we just met recently, and better still he seems interested to stick around for quite long!
milly_valentine's picture

I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman that I am very in love with. About one year ago, we both reveiled the fact that we were both suffering from anorexia/ bulimia. I say both because at that point, im not even sure what it was for me. She has been struggling with bulimia since she was about 16 (she is 20 now), and I have been flirting with both since I was about 16 or 17 (Im 21 now). about 6 months ago, we both made the decision to recover. She is always very supportive of my decisions, and when I do have a slip up,she reminds me that its just one day at a time. But recently i have been having a very difficult time, i dont feel like eating and when i do, it takes everything i have not to run to the bathroom...realisticly i know that I probably dont need to lose any more weight, but i cant help but feel like i am just getting huge. like i said, normally my girlfriend is very supportive of me, but today when i told her how i was upset that i had gained... more lbs in two weeks...she basically just said that it was water weight or i just needed to use the bathroom. i feel bad complaining to her, because i know she is going though the same, and it makes her feel even worse, because i am slightly, though not really noticably smaller than she is...

Courtney's picture

Hi Milly_valentine, I think its great that you reached out to us here. Its so important to have a strong support network during tough times like these so its great that you have such a supportive girlfriend to help you through! However, I know it can be hard to to share your feelings, especially those related to weight, with others who are also recovering so I completely understand how you feel. Have you tried asking her how she feels about you sharing your weight concerns with her? Talking through these emotions can be extremely helpful because hearing how she feels can help you determine the best way to approach these topics with her. Are there other family or friends you've reached out to for support? It may also be helpful to talk through some of your feelings and emotions about your ED with others who love and support you if you don’t always feel comfortable sharing them with your girlfriend because of what she is going through. Also, I’m not sure if you’re seeing a therapist or nutritionist at the moment, but seeking professional help and support is also important. You can look this up by state here -–referrals.php Stay strong – we are always here for you!!!!
marty789's picture

I'm in a relationship! It is normal for the ladies to have a crush but you still need to put yourself in the right place.

hiddengirl1234's picture

I always have strong feelings for guys but they never have them back. They always just ask for revealing pictures and when I say I won't send those, then they stop talking to me. They all just usually use me to hook up or get pictures but that isn't who I am and that isn't what I do. All of my friends are getting boy/girlfriends but I am not. Boys/Girls are always interested in my friends but never seem to be interested in me. What should I do?

MTurner's picture

As I was feeling lonely after having a breakup with my girlfriend, I tried finding the best ways of winning her heart once again. My honest efforts actually helped to melt her heart and we are now planning to get married soon.

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