Proud2Bme | A Middle School Girl’s Insecurities

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A Middle School Girl’s Insecurities

By Leslie Lopez--The transition from elementary school to middle school can be a very traumatizing experience. This is a time when your hormones are all over the place and your body is changing so fast that you feel completely out of control.

Personally, the most horrific memories that I have of middle school took place in the locker rooms, changing before and after gym. There were some girls who ran to the bathroom to change but were quickly told to get out and were forced to change in front of everyone. 

I remember seeing from the corner of my eyes different girls undressing and showing off their new Victoria's Secret bras while I was still wearing my training bra. I began to compare my body to theirs. I wondered when I would be able to at least fill my bra. And, thankfully, I discovered how to quickly undress under a big shirt in order for no one to be able to see my body. I wished to have the confidence of these big-breasted girls. 

However, the judgment did not end in the locker room. Boys loved to point out that my body was “not feminine enough.” They constantly pointed out my “boyish body.” I was awkwardly skinny with broad shoulders and some peach fuzz on my upper lip. Not to mention the pimples that covered my face. I hated being teased and bullied about my body. I began to wear push up bras and begged my mom to buy me any creams that would help clear my acne. I was only 12 and instead of worrying about homework or class, I focused more about looking good for boys. 

It is not until now, nine years later, that I realize how ridiculous it was for me and everyone else to judge my body. Unfortunately, for me it was the media that was to blame. It was the characters, celebrities, and models on TV and on magazine covers who showed me what it meant to be beautiful. The boys who made fun of me looked up to these images and considered this standard to be an “ideal” image for women. 

Those three years of middle school were a nightmare. But luckily, I am no longer that same girl. I no longer spend hours in front of the mirror criticizing what can be bigger or smaller. These negative thoughts don’t control me anymore. If I could go back in time and talk to my middle school self, I would let her know what a loving, caring, and beautiful girl she is. I would reassure her that everything is going to be ok and to never doubt herself. I have promised myself to love every inch of my body and to feel comfortable in my own skin. I love me for who I am.  I am Proud2Bme.

About the blogger: Leslie is currently a third year student at California State University, Northridge pursuing her degree in Sociology. She has a passion for helping others and hopes to one day help the thousands of individuals affected by domestic violence. 

For more inspiring personal stories, check out:

How to Cope with School When Struggling with an Eating Disorder

But First, Let Me Edit My Selfie

I Choose a Bigger Life

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Proud2Bme is an online community created by and for teens. We cover everything from fashion and beauty to news, culture, and entertainment—all with the goal of promoting positive body image and encouraging healthy attitudes about food and weight.

This site was developed in partnership with Riverduinen and made possible by generous contributions from JPMorgan Chase, Globant, the University of Delaware, and The Hilda & Preston Davis Foundation.

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