fear of gaining weight

Hi everyone. For 2 years I have secretly been cutting back on my food intake and skipping meals. I have tried to diet before but it never worked. I have cut out many foods from my daily diet and I recently started using my FitBit again and I have lost x amount of pounds in one month which I have been told is not healthy. I am now underweight and people are telling me to stop losing weight but I refuse. I must keep losing weight. I work out everyday and I don't eat much. I'm nervous for my next doctors appointment because of the amount of weight I have lost. I'm nervous that my doctor will tell me to gain weight and tell me to stop working out or make me eat certain foods again. I want to be skinny like the VS models or any models. I want to be pretty and I want guys to look at me differently, like they actually think I'm pretty. I am trying so hard to get a bikini body. Recently my vision has started to go blurry and I get very dizzy. What does this mean?

kelsey207's picture

Thank you for posting here on Proud2Bme! I think a lot of people on here can relate to what you're going through. Some of the thoughts and behaviors you describe sound concerning, and I fear for your health if you continue following the same diet and exercise patterns. Blurred vision and dizziness are a way for your body to signal that it's not getting enough nutrients. People can't last on so little food for very long without being at risk for health problems and potentially permanent damage. I sincerely hope that you'll talk to your doctor about your diet and exercise plan, as well as your concerns about losing weight. You can also call or chat online with the NEDA Helpline (http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/information-referral-helpline) to find out about ED professionals in your area who may be able to help. I think many people in our culture can relate to wanting to be beautiful and look like the people we see in the media, but you have to put your mental and physical health first. Disordered eating and overexercising can be very dangerous (see more info. here: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/health-consequences-eating-disorders). Seeing an ED professional can help you improve your physical health, as well as help you manage and understand your fear of gaining weight. Many people who experience this fear describe it as the "ED voice" in their head, the voice that tells them to keep losing weight and makes them afraid of seeking help. But ignoring that voice and talking with your family and your doctor is worth it so that you can be in a healthier, happier place.

I encourage you to reach out to others, and to post here on the forums if you have other questions or need support! We're here for you. <3

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